[AUDACIOUS TAKE] Doing the "Right" Thing Will Hold You Back And Here is Why...

In this episode, we cover: 

• Right and Wrong are Culturally Constructed Ideas
• Right and Wrong are cages that keep you locked up. 
• Ask better questions, "What is true?"
• This question allows for your soul, imagination, and spirit to show up.
• This is how you unlock your power. 

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Remember that, you are worthy. You have value. You get to take up space in this world simply because you exist. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, convenience you otherwise. If that idea or vision for your life is in you, then it is for you.

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Chapters

• 0:07 Living Audaciously
• 15:26 Empowering Reminder for Self-Worth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Can you believe they have the audacity? Welcome to the have the Audacity podcast. I'm your host, jacey Lawlin. I'm on a mission to empower women like you to live audaciously. What does it mean to live audaciously, you ask? Living audaciously means you're no longer available for living your life based on someone else's agenda, standards or boundaries. It's time to activate your power, use your voice and create the life you're meant to live. So the next time someone asks, can you believe she had the audacity, you can look at them and say, yeah, I did.

Speaker 1: 0:42

Hey, audacious Human, I'm so glad that you're here for today's episode and we are going to jump right in because, as you've noticed, I have my episodes kind of organized in different ways and my spicy, more spicy episodes you know, hot take, if you will episodes are Audacious Takes. If you will, episodes are audacious takes and, honestly, this is just kind of the space. It's not kind of. This is the space to say the uncomfortable thing, and that's really what I imagine these episodes being and feeling called to really step into more. And I'm going to be honest with you. That can be terrifying, because if you stand for something, then you're going to have people who disagree with you and it's in those times that you remind yourself that it has nothing to do with you personally. And I have found myself in conversations with a lot of women lately where I'm just encouraging them to speak their mind, stand up for what they believe in. Don't water yourself down for others to like you, don't hide. And I really haven't been feeling called to show up more unapologetically, audaciously, you would say, in this space. So we're going to be doing more Audacious take episodes and I'm just having fun with it.

Speaker 1: 2:07

It is June now. If you're listening to this in real time, let me just catch you up the life update you didn't know you wanted before we jump into the day, and that is schools out for the summer. I'm working summer school, but it's not all day, so that kind of helps honestly helps me get more productive by getting up in the morning and doing having to be somewhere. But it's summertime and I'm a week into summer at the time I'm recording this episode and, honestly, I'm feeling really good and loving the space. I've really just been craving that space. So having the space here is just really allowing me to be more. Um, some people refer to it as like a flow state, but it really is for me just being able to hear God and my intuition more on what's next for me in the direction of things in my life are going, and I'm doing it in a very non-judgmental way and just kind of going with it and seeing what happens. So, yeah, so that's where we're at in life. We're living it up summertime and gonna get more spicy. It's gonna be a hot, spicy summer in more ways than one.

Speaker 1: 3:20

So with that, you probably clicked on this episode and were like you're telling me that doing the right thing is what's holding me back, like JC, that makes no sense. I'm supposed to be doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is supposed to get me where I need to go. And now here's where I fully believe that doing the right thing is what's holding you back, because you could take this at any decision in your life. We could talk about this with anything, and here's what I'm getting at with it.

Speaker 1: 3:52

Is that right and wrong, good and bad? There really is no such thing as right and wrong or good and bad. They're socially like culturally constructed ideas, meaning that, depending on what culture you're a part of, it's going to differ between what's good and what's bad, what's right and what's wrong. I mean, the world is this beautiful, diverse place and right and wrong, good and bad, what you should do, what you shouldn't do, all differs from where you are Like yes, as a human, there are universal truths and people I know you can be like oh, I want to deflate this with you and going to bring out the extreme, to be like see, this is not true, but that's not what we're getting at and that's your need to be right, and instead I want you to open your mind and just hear this out.

Speaker 1: 4:44

Right or wrong, good and bad is culturally constructed ideas. You could take this even as in religion. There are some religions that believe it is wrong to dance, that it is bad to dance, and we know there are other cultures and subcultures within the United States, within religions, that don't agree that. That doesn't mean the culture that believes it is wrong to dance are inherently wrong. They're different from this other group. But the group that believes it's okay to dance the culture that is you know that you can dance, that they're not wrong either. You know you could get into the whole. Like there's people who women aren't allowed to wear pants, there's other cultures who believe that it's fine, it's not right or wrong and this is why people stay away from this, because it gets touchy. And I know and I'm not saying like clothes are clothes, like I am wear whatever you want to wear. Clothes are clothes Because there's so many parts of our society that we say things are right or wrong.

Speaker 1: 6:02

And it's socially constructed ideas, because the motivation behind deciding what's right or wrong is what are other people going to think? Who cares? Like clothes is like the biggest one, and, especially with it being June and it is Pride Month, like we want to get into socially constructed ideas, like we could get into there's pink as a girl color, blue as a boy color. Well, in fact, there were actually just colors and somebody decided that they needed to be gendered and so we socially constructed this idea and a group of people accepted it, and this was in the 1940s. Honestly, it was a marketing team decided that they were going to market something pink for girls and blue for boys and it just got adopted that that is what it is, and so to now, it's like no, pink's a girl color and blue's a boy color. Well, actually, prior to 1940, a color was a color, but it has become something that some cultures have adopted as true, other cultures haven't, and so you get in this idea and we just start.

Speaker 1: 7:11

The problem that I have with this and why I wanted to bring this up, that it's holding you back is how often are you making decisions for your life on what is the right thing to do and what is the wrong thing to do, what is the good thing to do, what is the bad thing to do? And really you're just not asking yourself a good question. That's really what it is. You're not asking yourself good questions and being focused, you're focused on the wrong thing. When you're focused on asking yourself should I make this decision? Is it the right thing or the wrong thing? Is this a good or the bad thing? That's what's keeping you in a cage. That's what's keeping you locked up.

Speaker 1: 7:46

You want to speak up at a meeting like, oh, is it the right thing to speak up and say what I want to say here, or is the wrong thing? Am I a good person if I do this? Or am I bad and problem causing if I say what I believe in this moment and that I disagree with the direction that we're going? And I don't want to disagree. I want to speak up, but am I good? Am I a bad person if I do this? Is it the wrong thing to do? Are people going to think that I'm wrong?

Speaker 1: 8:10

That's the cage, because I firmly believe that you have a soul and there's a lot of science behind that. Our souls are energy and we're energetic beings and you inherently know and you're powerful. You have a lot of power and we're designed, we are created, to do big things and have massive power and impact in our worlds, and I'm not saying globally, on millions of lives, but even just in the lives that you interact with on a day-to-day basis. Everybody you come in path with is put in your path intentionally, and you are powerful and society as a whole doesn't want you to know that. So we come up with these social cultural constructs that this is good, this is bad, this is right, this is wrong, to keep you in your cage and keep you out of your power. And a lot of us have just been going along with this because that's what we've known, that's all we've known.

Speaker 1: 9:10

And it gets really uncomfortable to have these conversations and start questioning everything, and so, instead of asking yourself is this right, is this wrong, is this good, is this bad? I want you to ask a better question. It's just one question what is true? What is true? Not what is right, not what is wrong, not what is good, not what is bad. What is true? Because I have found in my own life what is true? Because I have found in my own life when I ask myself what is true, that question invites a pause, it invites quiet and in that quiet, it invites your soul, your imagination, god, to show up and speak, because you're out of your mind, you're out of your head, you're in your body, asking yourself what is right, what is wrong, what is good, what is bad. Those are all in your mind and in your head. That's not where your power lives. Your power lives in you, in your body, so asking yourself what is true.

Speaker 1: 10:12

So when I go out into the world and I come across, well, we'll stick with this clothes narrative and I buy a men's t-shirt because they, honestly, are more comfortable, like, in my personal opinion, I like how they fit Wearing guys' clothing. Okay, there's a section of culture that would say that that is wrong, that is bad, that is wrong that you're wearing a quote-unquote identified other gender's clothing and instead of worrying about that. I'm like is this true? Is this true to me? Yes, okay, buy the clothes, wear what you want to wear. Like we get so caught up in making decisions on good or bad and worrying about what other people are saying, like that is wrong, that is bad, okay, put yourself in that cage, that is, if somebody is projecting that onto you, that's because they don't feel like they can have that self-expression or that freedom in their life and you are reflecting back to them and triggering something that they don't think they're allowed to have. That they don't think they're allowed to have. So it has nothing to do with you.

Speaker 1: 11:25

So when you're going to have, like, what is true for me tonight? Is it true? Like, if I go to eat, if I want dessert and I'm like it's bad to have dessert, okay, is that true? Is that 100% true? Like, factually, is that true? No, factually, is that true? No, eating dessert is not true. That being the only food in your diet, scientifically has been proven that you're going to have deficiencies and it's going to negatively affect your health. That's the only thing you eat. But if you're having a little, a small sweet snack after dinner, is it true that that's a bad food.

Speaker 1: 12:01

No, ultimately, that really isn't good or bad food, there's just food. There's not good or bad things to drink, there's just like things to drink. I mean, you can have people who are like I only drink water. You should only drink water. Water is the only good thing for you, okay. Well, yes, and there have been studies that prove scientific, factual evidence that proves having too much water is bad for you. So really a good thing.

Speaker 1: 12:29

A quote unquote good thing can also be a quote unquote bad thing. That's when we start like asking all these different people and going to these different places like, is this good, is this bad? Everybody's giving you this is the good thing to do, this is the right thing to do, and all of those things contradict each other because it's a culturally constructed idea. So instead, ask yourself a better question when those thoughts come up, because we're so programmed to think right and wrong, good and bad, black and white, instead of getting mad at yourself like, no, why am I thinking this way. Just ask, just have a better follow-up question Is this true? And watch how much less weight you carry in your day-to-day life and how much power you have and how much agency you have and how much you get to know yourself and self-confidence you have and self-assurance, by simply asking yourself is it true, what is true?

Speaker 1: 13:23

Sometimes it's that simple, but the simple things, the easy things to do, are also the easy things not to do, and so I really want to challenge you to just start asking yourself better questions and even catch yourself when you think, even you know. Like it's June, it's pride month. See somebody wearing clothing. They're wrong for wearing that, are they? Is that true or is it just something you couldn't do?

Speaker 1: 13:49

I feel like we're listening to this in real time. It's 2024. We're at a point we need to just start asking ourselves honest questions and sitting in the uncomfortable and sitting and not having all the answers, because staying in your comfort zone, only doing things and asking yourself questions that make you feel comfortable, you're never going to grow, you're never going to step into your power, and society as a whole doesn't want you to. They want you to stay in your cage, they want you to stay comfortable. They don't want you to think too hard. They don't want you to ask questions because they're not doing that and they have their power and you're a threat to them if you know how much power you have.

Speaker 1: 14:31

So I hope you vibed with this more spicy, audacious take episode. And if you have something that you think is an audacious take on something and you're like I really want you to talk about this or you want to talk to me about it, um, there's this nice feature now that you can text, you can text me. Um, it's at the top in the show notes. There's a button that's like send send a message. You can send a text message directly to me. You can talk about it. I'd love to hear your take, your takeaways, your thoughts on this, if it's inspiring you to have other questions or conversations with people. I'm not saying you have to 100% agree with me. My goal in this is for you just to start thinking more critically about things, so I can't wait to hear from you. Shoot me a message.

Speaker 1: 15:26

First, I want to say thank you so much for listening to today's episode. It truly means so much to me that you are here and that I got to be a small part of your day. I have three things to tell you before you go, though. First, please rate and review this podcast. It truly helps this podcast grow and get the message out and is such a simple thing that you could do to support this show. Thank you for doing that.

Speaker 1: 15:50

Second, share this episode with somebody right now that you know needs to hear it, or take a screenshot. Tag me on social media and let me know what you loved about this episode. I love getting to connect with you. And the third last thing I have is I cannot let you go without sending you off into the rest of your day with the reminder that I want you to always remember you are worthy, you have value, you get to take up space in this world simply because you exist. Don't let anyone, including yourself, convince you otherwise, and if that idea or vision for your life is in you, it is for you. Living with this phrase in mind in today's world is such a truly audacious thing for you to do so. Until the next time I talk to you, remember, have the audacity.